Author Archives: coralbelle

About coralbelle

Nancy Buffington enjoys writing, painting, cooking and the beauty of Southwest Florida. She lives in Cape Coral, Florida with her husband, Will and her two dogs, Phoebe and Gizmo.

MEETING THE NEIGHBORS

We just moved to a new neighborhood a few months ago. My husband walks the dogs every morning and evening so he has had a chance to meet many of the neighbors. Zelma, who lives around the corner with a very gentle German shepherd, Greta, invited us to her New Year’s Eve party. We changed our plans to have our annual dinner at the Tarpon Lodge so we could attend Zelma’s party and meet some of our neighbors. This decision was NOT a mistake.

This crowd was mostly retirees that have wonderful stories about their travels, cruises and adventures which I always love to hear since I’m not a big traveler myself – and they loved telling them.

Zelma was a gracious host with enough food laid out to feed an army battalion. She made it a point to make us feel welcome and spend time talking with us and introduced us to her other guests. I thoroughly enjoyed hearing about her latest cruise to the Mediterranean before she excused herself to check on her pulled pork.

One of the guests we met was Katherine, a snow bird from Montana. A snow bird is one of those delicate creatures that have a house here in Florida, but keeps one up north because for some strange reason, they can tolerate the ice, snow and freezing rain, but can’t seem to take the hot summers here. Katherine has long, LONG hair, kind of a left-over hippy hair and she used to live in California, but now lives in Montana. I’m not sure what happened in California to transform her from a “groovy, love and peace” California girl to a rather Annie Oakley kind of gal, but she took great pride and was kind of preachy in telling us about shooting animals to eat. I was told by another guest at the party that she even has stuffed animal heads mounted on her walls. Not something I like to think about, but Katherine seemed very proud of them and went on in great detail about each one of them.

My eyes were going blurry listening to her rattle on about her shooting sprees, and in the nick of time – in walks Dot, Ed, their 60 year old daughter Donna and her husband Mike. I loved them immediately. After introductions, first thing out of Donna’s mouth was: “So, Katherine, have you killed anything lately?”

I thought I would pee on the floor right there. I laughed so hard tears were running down my face. It got to be embarrassing, but it was New Year’s Eve and a good belly laugh was just what I needed so I didn’t really care that my semi-hysterics might have been rude. If Donna could get away with her bull’s eye comment, then certainly my laughter couldn’t be that offensive.

Katherine didn’t miss a beat and went on to tell Donna her about her latest victim. Some poor elk she slaughtered and then ate. Point blank Donna asked if she hung that head on her wall too. I had to leave the room.

I took the opportunity to use the restroom. A very large cat was lying on the floor and I noticed that the bathroom had a bidet. I had never used a bidet and since this was New Year’s Eve I figured I may as well start off with a new experience.

I wasn’t quite sure how those things worked, so after using the regular toilet, I thought I would turn one of the handles on the bidet just a smidge to check the water pressure. I was standing over it at the time staring down at it. A geyser of water shot up like something out of Yellowstone and went clear up to the ceiling. Water was dripping from the ceiling and the cat ran for cover. Fortunately I jerked my head back before I got it in the kisser. I quickly turned the handle off, assessed the situation and knew I had to get that water off the ceiling. I pulled out about half the toilet paper from the roll, took my shoes off and stood on the toilet seat to try and wipe off the water from the ceiling. I couldn’t quite reach it so I got the toilet brush and wrapped it in toilet paper and was able to get most of the water dried off the ceiling.

I wasn’t giving up. I had still never used a bidet and it was New Year’s Eve after all. This time I sat down on the bidet and gingerly turned on the water again. It seemed to work because everything from the waist down seemed to be lemon fresh. Success!

I finished drying off and went back to the party. It seemed to be in full swing and so was I.

c 2014 Nancy Buffington

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I STAND WITH ISRAEL

WHERE is our President? Our Israeli friends have the courage to stand up for what they believe. Back up what they believe, and not be deterred by political pontificating from around the world.

There is a rare opportunity here that the Israelis alone have taken on. The United States and the world know that many terrorists groups percolate in various countries in the Middle East. The Israelis bravely have taken the stand that enough is enough. Why isn’t the United States and other countries supporting them militarily and taking this opportunity to once and for all rid the world of these evil groups? It’s common knowledge that these terrorist groups are executing Jews and Christian almost daily. Instead, our President releases 4 really scary terrorist for one half-baked American that from what I have read is not all that American. Our President naively indicates that he would prefer to negotiate a cease fire. Seriously? Would that solve anything other than temporarily only to have some tragedy occur somewhere else?

The world has been terrorized for far too long by these sinister groups and it is time to “man up” and take this opportunity to stand with Israel. These terrorist groups in whatever country they reside (including ours) should be put on notice that we are coming for them. We should close our borders and throw them out. We should show these evil groups that we will not allow our children to grow up wondering when and where the next terrorist attack will take place in our country or the world.

I stand with Israel and hope that our President would interrupt his golf game and fund-raising to do the same.

c 7/2014 Nancy Buffington

OBAMA CARE

I heard on the news yesterday that Obama paid about $12,000 in federal taxes on a $680,000 income. Hmmm. Let’s see, that’s figures out to be less than 2% income taxes. I’m all for tax deductions up the nose for business leaders, job creators, and the general population, especially if it may help curb the runaway spending in the federal government.

I have also read the articles that say nearly 47% of the people pay no income tax. Of the remaining tax paying households, the Congressional Budget Office data showed the poorest fifth of households paid an average of 4% of their incomes in federal taxes in 2007 (the latest year for which this data are available.) Data from the Institute of Taxation and Economic Policy showed these same people paid a stunning 12.3% in state and local taxes in 2011. That would be a total of 16.3% in taxes paid from the poorest fifth of our households.

The leader of the free world paid less than 2%. Ghandi probably paid more in taxes. These are taxes that would help fund his Obama Healthcare Plan. It seems he is also exempt from any payments into the plan because he is covered by some other executive health care plan that we pay for.

So let me see if I have this right. The leader of our nation wants to leave a legacy of providing health care for everyone in the nation, to be paid for by the taxpayers. And if 47% of the people pay no income tax, then the remaining 53% of us will be footing this bill. Of the 53% of tax-paying citizens, roughly 10% of them are the poorest people in the nation. The poorest 10% of the people are paying twice the federal income tax that our President is paying. Now that’s what I call leadership.

Does Obama really think it’s OK for the poorest taxpayers to pay twice what he is paying to cover his health care agenda and then he not contribute in any meaningful way? Where’s his commitment to this plan? Doesn’t it seem reasonable to expect a Commander-in-Chief to lead by example? I guess he’s more of a “do as I say and not as I do” kind of a President. Now there’s a legacy.
c 4/13/13 Nancy Buffington

Beach Rap

Toes in the sand
Where is the band?
I need a margarita
in my manicured hand

The band starts strumming
The people start coming
They place their umbrellas
in the perfect spot for sunning

The waves keep drumming
The people start plunging
I see what’s in my cooler
and decide to start munching

Toes in the sand
There is the band!
And I have my margarita
in my manicured hand
Ahhhhhhh.

c 7/6/2013
Nancy Buffington

Where the Sandy Path Goes

Down the well-trod sandy path
South of the lighthouse pier
weary travelers come
seeking respite in the sun

I’ve walked this path for 40 years
It welcomes me as I come
Longing for the healing sun
It centers me as one

The sandy path soothes my soul
It lightens my weary heart
from all the pain life can bring
and chaos it can sling

Where does the sandy path go?
it’s been there so very long
It takes me to a place I know
And reminds me I am strong.

c 6/13/2013
Nancy Buffington

(photo unknown)

That Little White Ball

THAT LITTLE WHITE BALL

The frost is on the fairway
the leaves are turning brown
I hope the weather lets me
play just one more round

The birds have all gone southward
there isn’t a single sound
I’ll bet that if I hurry
I could play just one more round

My hands are getting cold
my fingers begin to numb
but if I wear my gloves –
bet I could get one more round

The snow is deep, I want to weep
In all these years I’ve found
there’s nothing quite like getting
to play that final round.
c2012 Nancy Buffington

Dancing Between the Raindrops

She danced between the raindrops
She could float above the clouds
No fear of the dark shadows
whenever she’s around.

She could shine as bright as any star
She soared amongst the birds
With love, hope, and kindness
from her lips. . . these words.

She sparkled like a diamond
She would giggle like a child.
But while dancing between the raindrops,
her loving heart roamed wild.
Nancy Buffington 5/2/13